Montecito old-timers (and young-timers too) are beginning to rue the day Prince Harry and Meghan moved to Montecito.
Because now you have paparazzi roaming the lower village as never before, asking what Montecitans think about these dull whiners.
Answer: “We don’t.”
Also known as Hollywood North, Montecito has always endured an abundance of overblown egos walking around, yet photographers until recently left them — and the general populace — alone. But (egads!) now that Beverly Hills is moving up here in droves and pulling their entitled BS, it seems that everyone is fair game.
Used to be, Montecito was reasonably well known around the U.S. as a place to situate one’s pampered bones. But now that Ginger & Mugs (one of Harry and Meghan’s nicknames) have put our rarefied enclave on a global map, it is destined to be invaded by elite Chinese slave drivers and Russian oligarchs enriched by dirty money but inexplicably ineligible for sanctions and confiscation.
This may be good for real estate agents and mortgage brokers but for the rest of us means entering a portal into rude-and-crude-ville. How long before Louis Vuitton, Prada and Cartier open their high-priced emporiums along Coast Village Road? Or traffic lights need to be installed because obnoxiously self-entitled motorists are above even slowing down at stop signs?
If Harry’s imminent memoir “Spare” is anything like this (un) royal couple’s Netflix snooze show, it is destined to be an explosive bore. Indeed, we forecast it to be an anticlimactic methanic whiff that will titillate only those close to him (if they bother to read it) as he is further led down a garden path of self-destruction, which seems the only direction his betrothed, “Me-Again” (oops, another nickname), knows and seems to relish for reasons only a psychiatrist might eventually uncover if not actually resolve.
Because short of Harry announcing that the British Establishment (one of its components) assassinated his mother, Princess Diana, what else can Harry say that will result in favorable critiques from book reviewers? His wife’s toilet paper of choice? (Maybe that was already covered, wouldn’t surprise us, but the first 10 minutes of this pair’s gross self-indulgence passed like a slow hour on Netflix, and we could watch no longer.)
Newsflash: “Spare” will apparently reveal that Prince Harry and his brother Prince William had a physical altercation in 2019 over Meghan. And (horrors!) King Charles III (while still Prince of Wales) “sadistically” joked that he is not Harry’s true father.
Montecito’s millionaire martyrs/ex-royals have melodramatically (if mundanely) shot their wad and, in doing so, have revealed themselves to be a) generally insignificant, b) wholly irrelevant except to sycophants who want a piece of “royalty” to fantasize an uplift of their own social status and c) somewhat dim while humorously (to others) not understanding their own limitations.
Ultimately, this bout of soon-to-be-forgotten docu-nonsense was little more than a parody of themselves. Maybe if someone tosses the couple $200 million (twice what they received — not earned — from Netflix), they’ll perform better next time. But we rather doubt it as they seem incapable of anything more than a Pity & Blame Fest.
Meantime, publication of Harry’s memoir (“Spare” us, yawn) is imminent and set to be featured in a CBS “60 Minutes” segment on Sunday. It remains to be seen if interviewer Anderson Cooper is capable of lobbing even a single tough question at Harry. We fully expect the correspondent’s Q & A to be as fluffy as pink cotton candy served on a goose down pillow beneath a sunsetting sky of cirrus clouds.
Not only dishonor but a five-star barf. In fact, a retch is heard around the world.
Anyone miss J. Edgar Hoover yet?
As horrible as that tyrant was, the bulldog who founded the FBI and lorded over it for half-a-century never interfered with the democratic process of electing the people’s representatives to their nation’s capital. (J. Edgar was too busy denying the existence of the Cosa nostra for reasons that may have to do with compromising photos the mafia possessed of him with his “associate director” and constant companion Clyde.)
But now even “Eddie and Junior” (as they affectionately called each other) are turning in their graves after their ghosts learned that no fewer than 80 FBI special agents were assigned to subvert freedom of the press by coercing social media giant Twitter into censoring views incompatible with electing Joe Biden president. The bureau even paid Twitter $3,415,323 (of your money) for their cooperation in these matters.
I spent nearly 10 years operating undercover for FBI Counterintelligence, during which I discovered how ridiculously bureaucratic and disjointed the bureau has become since King Eddie’s reign. But until now I hadn’t felt dishonor for it. Yet there it was, even back then: You know how it’s been said “the FBI always gets its man?” Wrong! Turns out, the FBi has failed and failed miserably.
Because they could have captured the only CIA officer to ever defect to Moscow but chose NOT to do so when, at the 11th hour, political pressure rolled down the pike. I should have realized then and there that instead of following their charter of apprehending fugitives who have broken federal laws — such as treason — the FBI bends over for political masters and takes it between the cheeks.
And now it transpires that the bureau, which is supposed to protect laws (not break them), actively fixes elections through unconstitutional actions.
The FBI never counted on multi-billionaire Elon Musk buying Twitter and then revealing the agency’s dirty laundry for all to see. Little doubt the politicized bureau will now target Mr. Musk for exposing its transgressions and humiliating it among those of us smart enough to tune into what’s left in this country of a non-corporatized and non-politicized free press.
Little wonder that a recent Gallup poll found that trust in the media is at an all time. And falling.
Investigations/recriminations/persecutions of Mr. Musk from a gobbledygook assortment of US government acronyms have no doubt already begun — fishing expeditions meant to lure a whitebait, then pretend through leaks to an obsequious news media doing mainstream narrative that they’ve snagged a blue marlin. (In fact, the media campaign to dump on Mr. Musk has already begun.) All because Elon, not unlike The Donald, does not play by Insider Washington be-polite-while-we-stab-you-in-the-back rules, thus making him their new target.
But instead of being overhauled, the FBI is rewarded, by the hastily passed $1.7 trillion omnibus spending bill, with a new headquarters.
Welcome to the Dishonored States of America in the 2020s.
Dishonor, dishonor and more dishonor.
Twitter founder and former CEO Jack Dorsey told outright lies to Congress under oath about Twitter’s censorship program. Either that or he was not in control of his own company. Either way, dishonor and disgrace.
THE “HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOTOP IS RUSSIAN INTELLIGENCE” CONSPIRATORS
No fewer than 51 former “intelligence” officials signed a pre-presidential election statement affirming to the American media and voting public that Russian intelligence had fabricated Hunter Biden’s laptop.
We now know, of course, this was a bold-faced lie.
The laptop truly belonged to Hunter along with all its highly incriminating contents, including files that implicate daddy Joe of corruption. The voting public was deprived of knowing the truth because the FBI and the Biden campaign arranged for it to be censored by Twitter and Facebook.
Instead, mainstream narrative disciples saw a statement from 51 lying former intelligence officers specifically constructed to bamboozle the American voting public.
These included those at the very top of the intelligence community: Five former CIA directors (Mike Kayden, Leon Panetta, John Brennan, Michael Morell and John Mclaughlin.). And also James Clapper, former director of National Intelligence,
If they truly believed what they signed their names to, they are buffoons.
If they knew it was a lie, they are dishonorable cretins.
We assume it is the latter, proving that indeed our nation’s capital is a swamp inhabited by “deep state” reptiles — a permanent government that tries (and succeeds) to sway elections in favor of their (controllable) candidates of choice.
Do people no longer care about signing their name to bunkum or lying under oath?
Dishonor and shame.
KERRY’S KLIMATE KOOKS
Add to the Dishonor List: Climate “czar” John Kerry and his band of un-merry witless wokesters who visit museums to willfully destroy great works of art as a means of “promoting” (more like disgracing) their misguided and indoctrinated beliefs.
Maybe instead of targeting master art works, these fools should target the private jet Mr. Kerry uses for flapping around the globe to lecture his legion of brainwashed zombies about why and how they should reduce their carbon footprint by leaving their cars home and taking the bus to work.
It is possible privileged Kerry hasn’t boarded a public bus his whole life.
Chuckle, oink, barf.
Guilty of misery, mayhem and murder, plutonium Putin should be prosecuted at The International Criminal Court at The Hague as a war criminal and then, upon conviction, drawn and quartered and hanged from the highest tree along with Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov and all others guilty of war crimes against humanity — a lesson to tyrants around the globe about what happens when you subject a civilian population to unprovoked, unspeakable brutality.
And may Vladimir Putin thereafter rot in hell for all eternity alongside his hero, Joseph Stalin, and his role model, Adolf Hitler.
The only real question is, will the U.N. War Crimes Tribunal get its hands on President Putin before he succumbs to a variety of ailments (including Parkinson’s and cancer), one of which recently caused him to poop his pants after losing his balance and falling down several stairs.
(Unfortunately, he did not break his neck as his critics do when they “fall downstairs.”)
Mr. Putin’s forever-changing red line nuclear threat of “or else” has by now become a bad joke that reminds us of an old “Saturday Night Live” skit in which Libya’s Qaddafi Duck draws a line in the sand and threatens, “If you cross this line…” We do, and Qaddafi immediately backs up. “Oh, you don’t like this line?” he says, then he draws another.
“Then how about this line?” We ignore that one too and he draws a third. “Oh, then maybe this one?” he says contritely.
Poisonous Putin’s newest line is about Ukraine not being allowed to attack Russian military forces within their own border “or else” (nuclear war, yawn).
This is absurd. Given that Mr. Putin’s army has invaded Ukraine and caused mass destruction to its cities, raped its women and children, tortured and murdered civilians (including women and children), Ukraine has every right to take the war Russia started into “the Motherland” itself and see how Russians like having their civilian populations and infrastructure bombarded.
We are delighted to report that this is already happening to some extent. Teams of saboteurs operating inside Russia (presumed to be Ukrainians but they might be Russians wishing to overthrow Mr. Putin) are responsible for a series of explosions affecting the infrastructure of that country’s energy industry, including gas pipelines.
Meantime, Mr. Putin is killing off his top commanders. Most recently, he offed the director — general of Admiralty Shipyards, his submarine factory in St. Petersburg, along with the general who ran his tank command.
Both submariner Alexander Buzakov, 69, and tankster Alexei Mazlov, 65, had been in good health until they fell ill and suffered “sudden death.” (Think poison because it’s either that or falling from a third-floor window).
It seems to us that Putin is discovering that his whole country has become one big mafia enterprise and that his armed forces faltered in Ukraine because his commanders have for years been lining their own pockets with state funds meant to maintain Russia’s military machine.
His response is to murder them.
The Russian empire under poisonous Putin deserves to fall. And when that that happens, good riddance to it.
ARMS DEALERS ARE …
Worthy of mention when discussing dishonor because they are the scum of the earth, providing weapons for profit to countries everywhere across the globe desiring to start and perpetuate wars. American companies are no exception to this — and perhaps they’re the greediest of all.
Turns out that 40 of the 52 parts needed to construct the Iranian Shahed-136 drones that the Russians have been using of late to kill Ukrainian civilians were manufactured in the United States.
American arms makers are forever cajoling and corrupting American government officials to ease whatever constraints exist and allow licensing of weapons to countries hostile to the United States.
Just when Russia’s Mad Vlad needed a master dealmaker to scour the world for illicit weapons, President Joe Biden trades “Merchant of Death” Viktor Bout for basketball player Britney Griner.
President Biden left behind Paul Whelan, a former U.S. Marine who may or may not have been spying on behalf of our country and has been imprisoned over four years already, in favor of an athlete who campaigned to end the singing of “The Star-Spangled Banner” at sports events.
This was nothing more than a political PR ploy, an inexcusable exercise in pandering to those President Biden believes are his true constituents.
Mr. Putin desperately wanted his trusted arms dealer back home and back to work. The Russian dictator is a shrewd dealmaker who would have capitulated if President Biden had held his ground and insisted Mr. Whelan be part of the swap. But Mr. Biden was impatient and wanted Ms. Griner home before Christmas and Mr. Putin knew it, knows our country’s current proclivity for favoring gay rights and minorities over older white guys. The Russians are laughing at how stupid our government is. (The impatient negotiator always loses.)
Mr. Bout — the Merchant of Death — will now get back to work for his hero Putin doing what he does best: Procuring deadly weapons on the black market and using them to kill Ukrainians in the unjust war he wholeheartedly supports.
During my tenure as intelligence chief in Monaco, we learned that notorious personalities in the Russian criminal underworld had between 1996 and 2001 passed $800 million through a Monaco company called Pastor International. Much of this laundered money had been invested in real estate in France, Spain and Switzerland, with significant amounts invested in hotels throughout Europe and Asia.
Most of this was generated by illegal arms sales. A key figure in such dealing was Mr. Bout, aka “The Bill Gates of Arms Dealing.”
Through his private airline Air Cess (which we called “Air Cesspool”), Viktor supplied the Taliban in Afghanistan with an air fleet composed of five Soviet-made Antonov 12s.
Following in the footsteps of his shameful withdrawal from Afghanistan 17 months ago, President Biden has again dishonored the country he purports to preside over and care about.
And then, to top it all off, this demented goofball of a president flies off into the wild blue yonder to enjoy sunshine and warmth in the Virgin Islands right after Buffalo, N.Y., suffers the worst snowstorm in history, resulting in scores of deaths, followed by widespread looting. He should have flown to Buffalo and surveyed the damage. That is what any responsible commander-in-chief worth his salt would do.
As usual, the cop-out excuse will be that a presidential visit would be disruptive due to the large entourage that accompanies him. Uh, pardon us for asking, but is that entourage any less extravagant dropping into the Virgin Islands for a vacation? And isn’t it about time the White House gives the taxpayer a break by slimming down the porky presidential entourage?
Dishonor and shame.
AND, FINALLY, BIDEN’S PET, SAM BRINTON
Sam Brinton is the “nonbinary” Biden-appointee to the U.S. Energy Department who was caught twice stealing bags from airport carousels. His pronoun should not be “them/they” (as he prefers) but “it” as in “I’m it” — a common thief.
Chances are, if Sam stole luggage on two occasions (as he did, caught red-handed on airport cameras), “it” is probably a habitual kleptomaniac who stole two dozen other checked bags in “its” quest to enhance “its” wardrobe. We can almost hear “it” shrill—“the thrill of it!”
The important question that begs to be asked is this: Was “it” ever properly vetted with a polygraph examination (including such routine questions as “Have you ever stolen anything?”) before President Biden appointed “it” to a sky-high security clearance at the Department of Energy? Or might this be a case of kid-gloving an “it.”
Dishonor through the roof, Brinton and Biden, both, barf.
AND NOW SOMETHING TO HONOR
This news item may have gotten lost during the holiday season:
At the request of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, the Supreme Court of The (red) Sunshine State has empowered a grand jury to investigate those who manufactured COVID-19 vaccines.
Said Gov. DeSantis: “In Florida, it is against the law to mislead and to misrepresent, particularly when you’re talking about the efficacy of a drug.”
Finally, Big Pharma may be held accountable for lying about the effectiveness of the COVID vaccine along with causing widespread injuries and deaths. Think NFL player Damar Hamlin, who had a cardiac arrest during a game.
As Toby Rogers wrote on Substack.com: “It’s not complicated. If you inject billions of people with a shot known to cause blood clots, you’re going to see lots of heart attacks — everywhere — at school, at the gym, during a live newscast, at the mall, on the highway and during sporting events.”
Hopefully, such accountability will extend to government figures — starting with Dr. Anthony Fauci — who so vehemently pushed an experimental vaccine onto a very gullible public.
“Freedom lives here,” Gov. DeSantis told an enthusiastic crowd in Tallahassee.
“We will never surrender to the woke mob. Florida is where woke goes to die.”
Robert Eringer is a longtime Montecito author with vast experience in investigative journalism. He welcomes questions or comments at email@example.com.