
Santa Barbara lost one of her true gentlemen when Arlen Laurence (“Laurie”) Abbey (1929-2020) passed peacefully into the presence of the Lord on May 13, 2020. Predeceased by his beloved wife Donna and older sister Ellen Patricia, he is survived by his children Catherine Abbey Hodges, Russell Abbey, Anna Abbey, and Miriam Abbey; four grandchildren, Clara, McNeil, Thomas, and Nina; one great grandchild due in September; and his nieces and nephews Carol, Cindy, David, Andy, Scott, Charles, and Kirsten.
Born in Bakersfield to Ida Slinkard Abbey and Laurence Everett Abbey, Laurie spent his early years in Delano, California. He lost his mother in a car accident at age four and was subsequently raised by his father and loving stepmother Vera Beall Abbey.
As a teenager, Laurie was an accomplished model airplane builder and worked various jobs, including homing pigeon handler and sales/delivery person at the local pharmacy. He ran on the track team at Delano High School and excelled at the 880 yard run, placing 4th in the state championship. His classmates elected him Senior Class President, and he maintained friendships with many of them throughout his life.
Laurie continued his education at Bakersfield College and then USC, where he earned first a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacy and then a Doctorate of Dental Surgery. He met Donna Burns Alderson at a USC Dental School softball game; she stepped up to the plate, broke the bat, and he was smitten.
In 1957, Laurie and Donna entered into what was to be a 60-year marriage, and the young couple lived in Pacific Grove while he completed his Army commitment at nearby Fort Ord. In 1958, he and Donna moved to Santa Barbara, where they flourished, raising a family of four children.
After the Abbeys moved to Santa Barbara, Laurie practiced as a dentist in an office in the 1800 block of State St. until 1967 when he returned to USC for two years for a Master of Science degree in Orthodontics, subsequently operating an orthodontic practice on the corner of State and Alamar until 1997. Dr. Abbey endeared himself to his patients and his staff with his gentle touch and warm professionalism.
Laurie was an enthusiastic reader, and his children marveled at his encyclopedic breadth of knowledge and ability to answer questions on a wide range of subjects. Among his life’s passions, three that stand out are health, aviation, and faith. Committed to nurturing and improving the health of his family, he would study journals and articles on longevity and vitality. He was a champion of vitamins and a healthy diet and instilled these values in his children. An avid pilot in his younger years, he often flew to dental conferences around the country. Although his flying waned as the needs of his family grew, he could often be found “hangar flying” at local airports and poring over aviation magazines.
A man of faith and service, Laurie was a loyal and much-loved parishioner of El Montecito Presbyterian Church where he held a variety of leadership roles over the decades. He and Donna made many lifelong friends there and cherished the Sunday services as well as the Bible Studies and other groups, including their favorite, the indefatigable Laugh Group.
Laurie and Donna enjoyed opening their home and hosted a variety of gatherings associated with the arts, church, neighborhood, and the Santa Barbara City College International Students Organization.
Laurie was a wonderful friend and listener who made people feel respected and cared for when they talked to him because, in fact, he respected and cared for them. Above all, though, he was a loving and devoted husband and father and a decent, principled man who unwaveringly lived according to his faith and his values. He will be remembered with respect, gratitude, and love by his family and friends.
2 comments
To Catherine and the entire Abbey clan,
We are truly saddened by your loss. Dr. Abbey was indeed a gentle man, a gentleman. To me he was Atticus in To Kill a Mockingbird. Steadfast and true, unpresuming, filled with grace.
May God comfort you in your mourning, with the knowledge that your dad will always be a part of you, and that he is in peace.
Love, Karen and Scott Matsueda
Thank you so much, Karen and Scott! I’m sharing your kind words with my siblings.
Love,
Catherine
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