Editor’s note: “News Revue” is a new column by Robert Eringer. It will be published on various Tuesdays.
President Joe Biden
Announced Joe Biden, “There’s no there there.”
There where? (Ah, maybe it’s where else Joe mislaid classified intelligence.)
This is funnier than Bubba Bill Clinton questioning “what the definition of is is.”
Double-talk, along with claptrap, is the second language of most politicians.
— “Classified Documents Found at Pence’s Indiana Home.”
Classified documents were found at former Vice President Mike Pence’s home in Indiana.
And now we learn former President Jimmy Carter found a batch at his modest house in Plains, Ga. (Might other retired presidents learn a lesson from the peanut prez in humility, hard work and not lining their pockets post-presidency?) What will the Justice Department do next, haul 98-year-old Jimmy into court?
And maybe probe Bubba Bill, too, for absconding with classified documents pertaining to his lax efforts tracking and tackling Osama Bin Laden prior to 9/11 and parking them in a dark corner at the Clinton Library in Little Rock.
— “Incredibly Suspicious’ Hunter Biden Email May be Based on Classified Info.”
Subject: Ukraine.
Date: 12 April 2014.
Email content: Filled with complex and sensitive intel written in a government bureaucratese style unlike any other writing produced by Hunter Biden.
Hunter’s goal: To demonstrate his usefulness to the Ukrainian energy company Burisma so they would pay him millions of dollars.
Was the intel scrounged from a classified document in one of the locations daddy Joe recklessly placed them?
The answer should be simple for Special Counsel Robert Hur to uncover: It will either match a classified document returned by Biden’s lawyers — or not.
And if the illegally stashed docs pertain to Hunter’s work in Ukraine?
— “Biden’s Classified Files Debacle Will ‘Knock Him Out of the 2024 Race’ for the White House.”
This is the take-away by politically savvy Dick Morris, who advised Bill Clinton.
“This issue here is not if everybody took documents home,” says Mr. Morris, but if the docs contain “classified information about American policy toward Ukraine.”
— “Prince Harry’s Book Flops at his Own Local Bookshop.”
That would be Tecolote in Montecito’s upper village.
Prince Harry
“I think most people up here think of it as a soap opera,” says bookseller Mary Sheldon.
Even Harry & Meg’s biggest supporter, British journalist and author Omid Scobie, has grown bored. In a podcast interview he said, “How can a regular person not have Sussex fatigue at this point?”
Judging by a lack of news about “Spare” following one week of sensational titillation, that pan has already flashed. Or as Kevin Spacey’s character says at the end of “The Usual Suspects,” “And like that, it’s gone.”
— “Meghan had ‘Gentle Concerns’ About Harry’s Memoir”
In other words, “It’s all HIS fault!”
Or: “The Ginge & Cringe Show” wants to be invited back to Blighty to vacuum up a new round of private conversations to peddle to the media.
Too late for that. Banishment for two — adios and finito bon soir, but thanks for the tittle-tattle.
However …
— “Monarch WANTS Prince Harry to Attend His Coronation”
Justin Welby, the Church of England’s principal leader as the Archbishop of Canterbury, has been asked by King Charles III to mediate a deal for Harry and Megs to attend his Westminster Abbey Coronation. Reason: Their absence would be a bigger distraction than their presence. (In other words, the opposite of Montecito.)
— “Monaco Receives Scathing Council of Europe Report on its Ability to Fight Money Laundering and Terror Financing.”
Dare we say, “Told you so?”
Because we’ve been saying this (and writing about it) for years.
Moreover, Monaco is protecting Russian oligarchs who should be sanctioned.
The rampant corruption that allows this to happen goes right to the very top, to profiteering pirates at the palace and Prince Albert II.
— “Ex-Adviser to Monaco’s Royal Family Sentenced to Three Years in Child Porn Case.”
The Rev. William McCandless aka “Father Bill,” was plugged into Palais de Monaco for many years … until police uncovered thousands of child porn images on his computer.
— “Elon Musk Claims ‘Major Side Effects’ from the COVID Booster like he ‘was Dying’ & Claims Cousin was Hospitalized with Inflammation of the Heart.”
The good news is that Elon-owned Twitter is now allowed to post truthful information about COVID vaccines along with the truth about COVID’s origin: A Chinese lab with U.S. funding.
Myocarditis, which Mr. Musk’s cousin suffered, is acknowledged even by official-dumb to be a potential side effect of the COVID vaccine.
— “Seattle-Area Medical Examiner’s Office Running Out of Space for Dead Bodies.”
No, this is not from the COVID vaccine but due to a large number of drug overdoses among the vast homeless population encamped along Seattle’s scruffy streets.
Hmm. Maybe fentanyl is Joe Biden’s solution to the homeless problem. It would certainly explain the inexplicable: The absence of a southern border that allows a seamless and endless import of fentanyl.…
— “Sergei Lavrov Warns Russia Close to ALL-OUT-WAR with West.”
Little else is ever expected of somber, morose Lavrov, who utilized a visit to South Africa to dismiss any notion of peace talks with Ukraine even though…
— “Russia has Suffered ‘180,000 Dead or Wounded Soldiers’ in Ukraine.”
All because Mad Vlad Putin and fellow war criminal Lavrov have no qualms about expending another 180,000 (or more) of their own conscripted and untrained troops.
— “Russian Funeral Industry Breaks Records Amid War.”
Ukraine war casualties in 2022 vastly outnumbered Russian deaths from COVID (the highest number in the world) in 2021.
An annual trade show called Necropolis that exhibits coffins and other funeral-related services has never been so well attended while, according to mortician Dmitry Yevsikov, “Crematoriums are growing exponentially.”
And will presumably break new records, leaving…
— “Russia’s Military Commanders ‘Terrified’ by Putin’s Demands for New Offensive on Multiple Fronts and fear ‘Mass Slaughter.’”
Russian army: 126,500 confirmed dead.
Private military armies: 44,000 confirmed dead.
Russian national guards: 6,250 confirmed dead.
— “Putin is Set on Big War with NATO to Bring Back the Iron Curtain,”
Russians love anniversaries. Mad Vlad is planning to celebrate with a major offensive on Feb. 24, the one-year mark of his imprudent Ukraine invasion.
Putin sees “the entire Eastern Europe as his fiefdom,” claims Professor Gregory Yudin.
But Russian commanders must first sort out their internal squabbles as …
— “Paranoid Putin Turns Against Wagner Chief After the Mercenary Boss ‘Failed to Take the Hint’ and Kept Bragging that His Forces Achieved More Success than Russia’s.”
Hence, little wonder…
— “Paranoid Putin Sets up Air Defense System Near Secret Forest Palace to Save his Family from Ukrainian Missile Strikes.”
The word “paranoid” in conjunction with Putin eructs quite a lot lately. And indeed Mad Vlad has every reason to be paranoid, not just about Ukrainians targeting him but now his own mercenaries too, not least because Wagner Chief Yevgeny Prighozin…
— “Dismisses Moscow Generals as ‘A Bunch of Clowns’.”
Hard to disagree with the assessment by Yevgeny, who was a hot dog salesman before becoming a warlord, though he surely means that President Putin himself is the biggest clown.
Mad Vlad’s newest commander, Gen. Valery Gerasimov, responded to the decimation of his troops by demanding they shave their beards before marching off to the frontline meat grinder.
Yevgeny’s precise words: “A bunch of clowns try to teach exhausted fighters how many times they ought to shave — and what kind of cologne they must use to greet high commanders.”
Chechen leader Ramzan Kadryov, whose bearded Moslem troops are assisting Russia in Ukraine, weighed in with, “Drop your machine guns; let’s go and shave. What kind of stupid thing is this?”
And the situation escalated to …
— “Kremlin Admits Wagner Mercenary Boss is at Risk of Assassination.”
Which, of course, is what Mad Vlad does to his enemies. Only these days, he doesn’t even bother to deny it, pumped as he is by steroids for various diseases. (What he really needs is Thorazine and Abilify, maybe a lobotomy.)
Said Putin spokesperson Dmitry “Pesky” Peskov, ominously, “This is more of a question of the special services.”
Which resulted in…
— “Wagner Appears to Laugh Off Assassination Plot.”
“Yes,” says Yevgeny, “That’s a very good idea. I agree that it’s time I’m eradicated.”
Psychos Putin and Prighozin would make an entertaining comedy duo — and hopefully will one day stage their slapstick at The Hague.
Meantime …
“Doomsday Clock Sits Just 90 Seconds Before Midnight Due to War in Ukraine—the Closest Humankind has Been to Annihilation in 76 Years.”
We are now 10 seconds closer than in 2022 to The End.
States the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists: “Russia’s thinly veiled threats to use nuclear weapons remind the world that escalation of the conflict — by accident, intention or miscalculation — is a terrible risk.”
Intelligence analysts in Washington, D.C, watch to see if priceless art works at The Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg are being crated and moved out to underground bunkers for storage. That’s the tip-off. And if/when that happens, it is head-for-the-hills time.
It is therefore not surprising that…
— “WHO Issues ‘Guidelines’ for Medications to be used in the Event of Nuclear War.”
Time to stock up on potassium iodide and antibiotics.
— “Top Zelensky Aide, 9 Others Resign as Ukraine Cracks Down on Corruption.”
It cannot be overlooked that Ukraine is an extremely corrupt country.
If the United States continues to provide billions in aid (your money), it should most certainly be accompanied by an ongoing audit of every dollar spent.
And maybe we are watching, albeit secretly, because this sudden purge of Ukrainian government officials comes a mere five days after…
— “CIA Director Visits Kyiv, Meets with Ukraine’s Zelensky.”
Perhaps Director William Burns read the riot act to the Ukrainian president as a pre-condition to delivering 32 M1 Abrams battle tanks and a $2.5 billion aid package. Now that President Volodymyr Zelensky has culled the culprits (or the usual scapegoats)…
— “Ukraine Expects Tank Deal Will Lead to West Delivering Long-Range Missiles and F-16 Fighter Jets” while “U.S. Air Force General Predicts China War in 2025.”
Folks, listen to me, seriously: Defeating Poisonous Putin is important. But never, ever allow your children or your grandchildren to join this (or any) war.
The moment any president sends American troops to Ukraine, I’m out. And you, dear reader, should be too. Let Raytheon fight this war with all its high-tech weaponry. Do not let our government do it with your children. There is no glory in war, no valor, only death, misery and exploitation by those in cushiony beds who send your children and grandchildren to be sacrificed while they grow rich from blood money.
As Nancy Reagan said about drugs: Just say no.
“World’s Oldest Person on the Keys to Longevity.”
Maria Branyas Morera of Toulon, France is 115.
She says: “Order, tranquility, good connection with family and friends, contact with nature, emotional stability, no worries, no regrets, lots of positivity and STAYING AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE.”
Amen, sister.
And finally, our Chuckle of the Week:
— “’THE’ Can be Dehumanizing.”
The Associated Press has canceled “the.”
“We recommend,” the AP has told its reporters, “avoiding general and dehumanizing ‘the’ labels as the poor, the mentally ill, the French, the disabled. Instead, use wording such as people with mental illnesses.”
Such as the mentally ill editor at AP who issued this recommendation.
Robert Eringer is a longtime Montecito author with vast experience in investigative journalism. He welcomes questions or comments at reringer@gmail.com.
