Overwhelm, it seems, is never very far away. No sooner is one issue solved when another takes its place. Workplace problems, arguments with loved ones, unexpected bills and those occasional wackos who try to ruin your life because they don’t have one are all fairly normal these days.
Yes, people will let you down, misunderstand you and make a big deal out of it. There won’t be a parking place when you’re running late for an appointment, and your mate may not have enough energy to be supportive when you need him or her to be. Your life feels like the hassle of daily living will never end, and you just want a break.
We are all dealing with the drama of life, sometimes a tragedy and sometimes a sit-com. Perhaps the best news is that you are the star and you do have a couple of choices here.
It helps to learn to see the problems as a path, and you are growing with each step (or mis-step) that you take. If you learn from your mistakes, you won’t have to repeat the lesson, hopefully. Taking your experiences to heart and really trying to understand them is challenging. This process can be uncomfortable because most of us don’t want to think about the negative things happening in our lives. When you are working to make things better, though, you have to look at the whys and wherefores to give you the confidence you need to move forward once again.
I also like the pro/con list exercise, where you draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. On one side, you list what’s working and, on the other, what needs improvement. It’s pretty basic, fairly easy, and most of the time you’ll find that more in your life is going well than not. You may not usually feel that way, because problems weigh more psychologically than the things around you that actually feed your soul. I just did this exercise, and found more pluses than minuses in my world, though not as many as I’d like, so I now have a little motivation to improve my life.
If you want to enhance your mood and release some of the overwhelm, I can’t say enough about exercise and taking better care of yourself. When you’re down, even a ten-minute walk can make you feel better.
If the overwhelms continue for more than two weeks, and you find yourself feeling hopeless and helpless, you should consult with a professional. You may be experiencing a little depression. But don’t take this the wrong way. Being overwhelmed doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be in therapy or on medication. Getting checked out will help you understand your condition and perhaps take a bit of the load off.
Sometimes life will feel like it is too much … be patient with yourself and work on your problems so you can find the joy again.Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with more than 28 million readers. He is available for video consults worldwide. Reach him at barton@bartongoldsmith.com. His column appears Sundays and Tuesdays in the News-Press.
