Calla Jones Corner
The author is a News-Press correspondent.
This summer I’ve been watching how, with so little effort, the Democratic presidential candidates seemed like children who just want to play games — their way. From Musical Chairs to Pin the Tail on the Donkey, with Go Fish, Monopoly, Scrabble, Kick the Can, Dodgeball, Texas Hold-‘em, and even Spin the Bottle in between. It was as if they wanted to be in perpetual recess, without doing their homework. Perhaps they should just buy Hasbro’s latest game, Monopoly for Socialists, instead of trying to score with such loony gamesmanship.
For the debates, it was a relentless game of Musical Podiums, as the 20-odd (and many are odd) candidates tried to knock each other off the stage with their perceived versions of what is fair game, while the cacophony of politically correct memes blared in the background. The clear winner for the first debate was Kamala Harris, as she went after Joe Biden’s record on busing. That was until she remembered that she actually did profit from busing in Berkeley in the 1970s.
Go Fish: A fishing expedition for a matched pair of idiots. Mayor Pete Buttigieg trying to match being gay with being as woke as Liz Warren, who likes to slug a beer like any naive college freshman, is not a winning combo.
Monopoly, or Conopoly, as Ms. Harris, who put 1,500 pot heads in prison as California’s attorney general, claimed she was for open borders, and all the illegals should play the “get out of jail free” card and be able to buy Park Place, Broadway and any other desirable real estate. Ms. Harris and her husband already know how to play that game; they have three homes, as do the Sanderses.
Scrabble became Babble as the Democrats tried to impress their opponents with the left’s new high-value vocabulary words like “intersectionality” and the “interdisciplinary” study of race, ethnicity. They were, however, outmatched by California’s Education Department, which put on the Babble Board such words as “indigenity” or the study of ancestral roots; “coloniality” for present and future generations; the”xdisciplinary” (sic); and “critical praxis of holistic humanity.” Don’t bother to get out the Scrabble dictionary. They aren’t there. Nor are “postnationalities,” “hybridities, “nepantlas” and “ableism.”
Kick the Can became Kick the Can Down the Road as Democrats tried to score with how many trillions their Green New Deal would take to ruin or kill everyone on Earth (except the Chinese, of course) and those living in Hawaii, which wouldn’t be accessible, as planes could no longer fly.
Dodgeball remained Dodgeball, as the winner has yet to be announced.
One wonders what game Beto O’Rourke is playing. Texas Hold-‘em, as he holds an iPhone for a selfie of his ear hair being trimmed to make him look mature, which he clearly is not.
Spin the Bottle brought back memories of the 1950s, when I was a pre-teen and a peck on the cheek in the dark in a friend’s basement was about as close as we came to intimacy with the opposite sex. When old friends
Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders embraced tightly on the stage of the second debate, before trying to spin their outrageous, socialist/communist ideas, I was reminded that the 78-year-old Mr. Sanders took his wife to Moscow for their honeymoon in 1988. Probably no hanky-panky there; the Russians are not only chess masters, but play serious Roulette with blackmail. Imagine if Mr. Sanders became president, the pawn he’d become in Vladimir Putin’s hand if videos surfaced of that romantic interlude. Checkmate! The left is still pretending that the Russians have videos of President Trump in a compromising act in Moscow. All’s fair in love, hate and cold war.
Thank goodness Dr. Jill Biden, a university professor, called time-out for the squabbling adolescents, suggesting that her 76-year-old husband, who never seems to know what game he’s playing or what gaffes he’s making, take an afternoon nap.
Best of all has been watching the Democratic candidates play Pin the Tail on the Donkey, as blindfolded, each tries to pin as much nonsense and gibberish on one another. Bingo!