Most successful couples commit to making emotional progress in their relationships. They agree that one of their goals is to keep growing as a couple, and they find different ways to do this. Those who cherish their relationships know that if they do not move them forward, their relationship will devolve and their intimacy will disappear.
If you spend a little time daily thinking about what you want your relationship to be, you can actually move it in that direction. Thoughts inspire actions and can help you create some magic in ways you may have thought were no longer possible.
Here’s how to do it. Create a picture in your mind of what you want and need. Discuss your vision with your partner and, after both of you agree on it, take several minutes out of your day to contemplate this image. Visualization can make a very big difference in your lives, and it will be even more powerful if you do it together.
Bringing up this topic may be the most difficult part, as your partner may not see things the same way you do. Even if your partner is on the same page, it can be challenging to broach the subject. Saying “Hey honey, I think we need to increase our emotional progress” may be a bit awkward.
Instead, I suggest that you do an evaluation of where you are and where you’d like to be. If you both find that you’d like some growth in this area, making emotional progress will be easier than you might have thought. It starts with the commitment that you want your relationship to be the best it can be.
Trust that you are in this relationship to grow, and focus on that. Couples who gently explore each other simply get more from life together. We all know people who seem to live very small lives, which is fine. But if your relationship is crying for more, you need to stretch yourselves, or you could break.
Making emotional progress is not only good for the health of your relationship, it is good for the health of your physical bodies. People who continue to grow in various areas of their lives live longer and stronger. Those who do not wish to participate in life usually end up lonely and wishing they had done more to change their circumstances.
Couples who employ these techniques have better interactions, fewer arguments, and generally get along well. When you are unwilling to get bogged down in emotional mire, you are free to explore and move your love in a positive direction. The wonderful part is that when you both know that you want the same thing, it doesn’t really matter who makes the choice of how you get there.
Happy couples know that doing things differently and making a commitment to being the best they can be are huge steps in keeping everyone and everything on the right path. From here, you have nowhere to go but forward.Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with more than 28 million readers. He is available for video consults worldwide. Reach him at email@example.com. His column appears Saturdays and Mondays in the News-Press.