Getting the most from your relationship is more about you opening up to who your partner really is and much less about you getting your perceived needs met.
The real truth is that the more you give (emotionally), the more you get. Here are 10 things you can do for your relationship that are designed to help make the feelings between you grow.
1. Relish it. Taking pleasure from every ounce of your relationship will make your life tastier. All you have to do is take a moment to think about it, savor what you feel, and let it in. If you do that once a day your bond will strengthen.
2. Believe it. Feeling deep within your core that you are with the right person is a total turn on. It makes every difficult thing you’ve gone through understandable, because if you hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t be here. It validates the love you have together.
3. Feel it. Allowing yourself to feel the love you have in your life with every fiber of your being is a total rush. There is nothing else like it on Earth. Just holding each other and feeling your partner’s embrace is totally life enhancing.
4. Trust it. Let go of your fears and have faith in the one you love. Involving your whole being in your relationship is the only way to get the most out of it. Really participating by opening your heart will give your life a greater sense of purpose.
5. Bestow it. Giving it all you have will make your partner feel loved. It will also make you feel that you are giving back to the most important person in your world. Think about all the good you have, and then ask yourself how important your mate was in helping to get it.
6. Build it. Make your relationship stronger by spending a day, a month or more doing something productive with your partner, like setting goals, talking about feelings, or just problem solving. These are all relationship-building activities, some of which will encourage your love to evolve.
7. Enjoy it. Luxuriate in the warmth that comes from being in a loving relationship. It may help to remember times in your life when you were alone, and lonely, to help you appreciate what you now have. It also helps to tell yourself that you are enjoying it.
8. Adore it. Feeling cherished and admired by the one you love can be empowering. Fanning these flames stokes your relationship fires. Kissing the lips of your life partner every time as if it were the first time will keep bliss in your bed and love in your heart.
9. Treasure it. Nothing is more valuable than a loving relationship. No amount of money can buy happiness, and a home without love, no matter how grand, is nothing but an empty shell. Remodel the way you treasure the person who loves you.
10. Experience it. Jump in with both feet and firmly plant them in this garden that you and your mate have lovingly created. Nothing blooms so beautifully as a flower that you have grown from seed and tenderly cared for with your hands and heart.
Your relationship is all about giving to your partner from the heart rather than your wallet. Take the risk of opening up and sharing your feelings. They won’t overwhelm you, they will fill you up. The rewards will be well worth the effort. And honestly, who wouldn’t want to feel all of this?
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning therapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of seven books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 27 million readers. Reach him at email@example.com. His column appears Sundays and Tuesdays in the News-Press.