There are thousands of ways to keep your relationship interesting, but I’ll only give you a few special ones that will not only make your partner feel loved but also make you proud of your efforts. The more you put into your relationship, the more you will get out of it.
— Do something sweet every day.
For my wife this comes naturally; for me it takes a little creativity and sometimes a mood swing.
That being said, one thing I make a point of doing daily is to find something to tell, show or give to my wife that makes her smile. It can be something as simple as a text message or as complicated as opening up the door to a new activity or hobby. I gave my wife an old “Zen Board,” a treasure that I found among some other things that I hadn’t used in years. It’s made of a matted special paper that you brush with water to make designs that disappear in a minute. My wife plays with it every time she passes by, and I didn’t realize she could draw!
— Enhance what you already have.
My wife loves to cook and I reap the benefits. Every day is a surprise, because she likes to try things that are new to her and to me. Last week it was Dragon Fruit (I passed on it, too many seeds), but most of the time it’s a treat sensation. The kitchen is my wife’s domain, but I try to help out because, as I’ve said before, when two hearts and four hands are making a meal, it’s food for the soul as well as the body.
Your connection also grows stronger whenever you do nice things together.
— Do the unusual.
When you experience something you have never tried before as a couple, it builds a hormone called oxytocin, which is also known as “the cuddle hormone.”
Doing something new together makes us feel closer to our partners, and it is usually associated with love making but doesn’t have to be.
It’s not like you have to go bungee jumping or tandem skydiving. Just going to a new restaurant will do the trick. So will art shows, boat rides and anything else you’ve been meaning to get to but haven’t just yet. Try out a mini-vacation and check into a hotel for one night.
When it comes to getting the most out of your relationship, there is no time like the present to start. The sooner you get going, the better you will feel. It is amazing how when your relationship is evolving, both of you are too.
And it feels great!
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning therapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of seven books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 27 million readers. He practices in Santa Barbara and Los Angeles and is available for video sessions. Reach him at email@example.com. His column appears Sundays and Tuesdays in the News-Press.