Editor’s note: “Rumors & Buzz,” which runs each Saturday in the News-Press, is written by a journalist who has chosen a nom de plume: “Momus.” In Greek mythology, Momus is the god of satire and mockery.
Montecito’s Ellen DeGeneres cannot bring herself to stay away from the limelight and is already plotting a comeback.
Her new program is tentatively called “About Time for Yourself,” but judging by the clip Ellen has been previewing on social media, it is more aptly titled “About Time for Myself.”
Ms. DeGeneres apparently wants to share with everyone what she has been doing in private since she stopped sharing with everyone what she used to do in public.
And what might that be?
Ellen has been crocheting and wants to show everyone what she has crocheted, with a proud Portia de Rossi (her wife) pointing the camera at her.
Riveting stuff, to be sure.
But Momus wonders if such content might be better suited not for a television network but for Instagram or Twitter or home movies.
Far more entertaining is Momus’ favorite Montecito thespian Christopher Lloyd, who last week made a surprise cameo appearance in a trailer for the upcoming Broadway production of “Back to the Future,” opening in June 2023 and for which tickets just went on sale.
Not only is Santa Barbara’s Lobero Theater the oldest theater in California but it is reputedly the Golden State’s most haunted.
As Halloween approaches, you might want to stop by and call on the ghost of Joseph Greenwald, who collapsed and died on stage during the premiere performance of “Golden Boy” on April Fool’s Day 1938. It was Joe’s final act and happened right after he spoke the line, “I wait-a for this moment all my life”— and that’s-a no joke. (The audience thought Joe’s heart attack was part of the play until an abrupt drawing of curtains. It was curtains, for true.)
Then there is the ghost of Henry Pideola, the night watchman, who might be watching you with a prank in mind if you drop by after dark.
But if you like your ghosts in period dress, you can’t beat Dr. Frank Fowler, who continues to appear, albeit off-stage, dressed in top hat and tails.
Would somebody call Bill Murray?
Hollywood celebrities are taking sides in the close mayoral race in Los Angeles between billionaire Rick Caruso and Rep. Karen Bass.
Rep. Bass has Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, J.J. Abrams, Ariane Grande and Shondra Rhimes covering her back while Rosewood Miramar owner Mr. Caruso has Elon Musk, Gwyneth Paltrow, Snoop Dogg and Kim Kardashian in his camp.
Writes Chloe Malle in Town & Country: “A visitor to the Montecito Country Club (where the members include mega-manager Scooter Braun and Netflix honcho Ted Sarandos), describes the pool as being ringed by middle-aged moguls in matching navy ‘Caruso for Mayor’ baseball caps.”
Rep. Bass has accused Mr. Caruso of conning voters into believing he can cure homelessness by housing 300,000 homeless people within his first 300 days of office.
What’s with the number three, Rick?
A reporter for Insider.com named Anneta Konstantindes a few days ago published a story called “I Visited the California Town that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Now Call Home” and decided that it was “pretty tiny.”
Anneta never figured out there is an upper village in addition to a lower village in Montecito. Which is presumably why she also missed out on the huge story reported nationally, namely and quite sensationally, Meghan Markle was seen shopping in the upper village!
(Yawn x two.)
Anneta also missed what Momus calls “The Patio Floorshow,” the definition of which is (or witches) reclining in an Adirondack chair near the fireplace on Honor Bar’s patio with martini in hand while spectating ‘Cito’s characters — from old-time Botox babes to newly-arrived Angelinos — primping and posing as if they were the celebrities (like Ms. DeGeneres) Anneta had expected to see.
‘Tis quite the show, hold the applause.
Penguin Random House has announced the title and date of Prince Harry’s much anticipated memoir.
The 416-page book will be called “Spare,” as in “an heir and a spare,” Harry being the spare, his point being, how would you like to be considered a spare? Or growing up in what Harry has described as “a mix between ‘The Truman Show’ and living in a zoo”? It has been reported that Britain’s Royal Family has been unpleasantly surprised by the title, which may affect Harry’s own titles as “prince” and “duke.”
Publication is set for Jan. 10 to ensure 2023 will start with a bang (especially in Britain).
It comes too late for Christmas but perhaps it’ll be the perfect Martin Luther King Day gift.
As review copies are normally sent out in advance, Momus expects that Harry’s sensational revelations “of raw, unflinching honesty” (claims the publisher) will commence the day after New Year’s, perhaps earlier if any of the contents are leaked by those involved in the book marketing and distribution chain.
If you have a tip for Momus, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.