My wife has watched me write, blog, do media and make speeches for a few years now. I’ve encouraged her to do her own video blog (vlog), too, because she is always watching them, but she hasn’t been interested in the spotlight (or the inevitable anonymous bullying). I don’t receive much of that, but she sees what people say about the people she follows, and it’s pretty awful.
That being said, enough time has passed, and she is ready to go for it! Angelika is a great cook, so she is going to do a cooking show where she doesn’t have to be on camera. I think that will change over time, but I am just thrilled that she has found a passion to pursue in a way that works for her.
I’m smart enough to step back and let her go at her own pace. I could write for her, but I know that my being there for emotional support is more important, and I’m there for her however she needs me. Also, I’m no cook, despite having a great kitchen — and now that my wife will have a studio worthy of her talents and personality, she will only make it look better.
Part of me is hoping that she becomes the next Julia Child, and I will spend the rest of my life watching and tasting her creations. When you have a creative drive, and you start to express it, it can be a wonderful ride, a bit of a roller coaster at times, but worth the price of admission. When the love of your life takes the ride with you, and maybe starts to drive, it’s a pretty cool way to travel through life.
I am at my best when being creative, whether in front of a keyboard, a radio mic, a live audience or on my own just playing guitar. I have always encouraged creative answers to life and therapy: There is always more than one right way to do something.
Yes, public attention in our social media world has become a marker of success, but it means way more than that when you are sending a positive message. Helping people enjoy their lives a little more is a big deal.
This project will not just make her happy but make us closer. One reason is I am aware that this is her project, not mine, which is how it should be. This means I will answer any questions she asks but be careful about offering unsolicited advice.
What she doesn’t know she will learn. You never want to take that process away from anyone.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., LMFT is an award-winning therapist and writer. He is a columnist, blogger and the author of seven books, including the newly released: “Visualization For Success – 75 Psychological Empowerment Exercises To Get You What You Want In Life.” Reach him via email at barton@bartongoldsmith.com
