Spirited. Sophisticated. Scrappy. Just a few words used by family and friends to describe the incomparable Karen Langley Stephen who passed from this life too soon on August 3, 2020 at her home in the Santa Ynez Valley, surrounded by friends and her beloved husband, Jon Stephen. Born right before a new moon, she left us just after a full one.
Karen was born June 9, 1945 in San Francisco. She and her younger brother Mike were abandoned as very small children and shuffled through countless foster homes until she was seven. Her lifelong fighting spirit was revealed at this tender young age as she fought tooth and nail against separation from her brother. It was through sheer will and determination that they were eventually adopted together and then raised in La Canada, California. She later lost her adored brother to AIDS and then cared for her adoptive mother Peggy through Alzheimer’s until her death in 1995.
After retiring from a career in commercial advertising, Karen moved to the Santa Ynez Valley in 1991 and purchased the historic Old Trout Farm, using her amazing creativity to transform it into the magical treasure it is today. Over the years, her vast array of friends have enjoyed wreath parties, barbecues, dinner parties (one of which turned out to be her surprise wedding to Jon), and social gatherings disguised as meetings at her and Jon’s charming, quaint farm. Holidays were marked with Karen’s boundless enthusiasm, most notably Thanksgiving and Christmas when her exceptional decorating talents gave the celebrations a special touch.
Not long after arriving in the Santa Ynez Valley, Karen launched her Critter Sitter business, but soon became restless for another challenge and before long was the owner/operator of Side Street Café in Los Olivos, which she ran for several years. In 1993, Karen’s son and only child, Jeff Langley, a Firefighter/Paramedic for the Los Angeles County Fire Department Air Ops, died tragically in a work-related accident. He was 28 years old, brave, tough, kind and caring, just like his mom. A single mother to Jeff, Karen somehow managed to dig deep to find healing and a way forward from the greatest loss a person can experience. She became an active and resolute advocate for firefighter safety and recognition. The Higgins-Langley Memorial Award, which honors the best in Swiftwater Rescue, of which Jeff was a pioneer, was established the year he died.
Karen met the love of her life, Jon Stephen, in 1996. From day one, it was clear they were soul mates. She affectionately called him “cowboy.” Jon’s wry, dry humor and calm, steady nature was in contrast to Karen’s lively and animated always-on-the-go spirited energy. Their 24 years together were chock-full of everything from horse rides to car shows to Sunday drives in their ’40s Chevy to spending lots of time with family and friends and caring for their menagerie of animals on the farm.
Karen was a gourmet cook and a marvel with home decor, “rustic elegance” being her design trademark. She authored Three Little Words to Live By, a gem of a book in which she shared “positive messages and simple life lessons,” all inspired by her efforts as a single, working mom to communicate more effectively with her young son who had “the attention span of a gnat.” Her efforts were successful. Three of the messages in that book also reflect Karen’s approach to living: “forget your age,” “utilize your talents,” and “make a difference.”
Karen shared many happy hours with her riding and camping friends and was an active member of many equestrian organizations. She was a Filly from 1994-2017, serving as president in 2003 and 2004. She became a member of the Sage Hens in 2003, and also found time to be a member in the Saddle Skirts from 2006 on. Her Hen Pen was the hub of socializing on rides where friends were treated to Karen’s animated conversations, her wonderful munchies, and even Jon’s special, yet dangerous Lemon Drop Martinis. Another one of Karen’s trademarks was her knack for creating a magnum opus out of the shortest story, her mind being sharp and quick and so detailed-oriented that the segues could be endless.
Karen was authentically and lovingly a valued friend to countless people. She was a horse lover and proactively inquisitive about all things mystical. She was a dedicated liberal who had warm and genuine friendships with archconservatives, and many others of diametrically opposed political and spiritual views to her own. She embraced everyone and discriminated against no one.
She was one of those rare people who, despite an immensely challenging start in life, managed to overcome obstacles and rise up as an empathetic and empowering champion of others. Although small in stature (five feet and a quarter inch, she claimed), her spirit was huge. An article in the Santa Ynez Valley Magazine once aptly described her as “a petite powerhouse with quicksilver wit.” Karen embodied a marvelous combination of fierceness and kindness. She was an impassioned cheerleader and advocate for friends and family. If she believed you had an unfulfilled talent, she would relentlessly encourage and support you.
Karen is survived by her husband Jon and stepchildren Travis, Garrett and Ashley, and their young children, in addition to beloved critters Meg, KC, Pecos, and Rosey, among others. Her myriad of friends, from all walks of life, are blessed to have had such a treasured and unparalleled friend in Karen. They will be forever touched by her generosity, warmth, honesty, sense of humor and luminous spirit. May Karen’s journey forward be filled with the love and light that she spread with panache and grace during her time here.
We love you, Karen, and miss you beyond measure.
