Calla Jones Corner
The author is a News-Press correspondent.
My father used to tell a joke about Scandinavians that normally got laughs. Once, however, someone took him to task.
The joke: There were six Scandinavians marooned on a desert island — two Danes, two Norwegians and two Swedes. The Danes formed a corporation, the Norwegians got into a fight and the Swedes waited around for someone to introduce them.
The person who felt insulted was a Swede and told my father that he didn’t think the joke was funny. Of course, my father added that detail to the original joke, and the joke on joke became part of our family lore. My mother was Swedish, had a great sense of humor and approved of her husband’s attempt to liven up a dinner conversation at the expense of her fellow Swedes.
I wonder what my parents would think of the Swedish professor who recently proposed that people start eating their neighbors and their pets to combat the so-called climate crisis. His argument: take away gaseous cows, head for the forests and you save the world.
My father, a cookbook author, showed how to grill a steak on the “TODAY” show in 1954 to publicize his “The Outdoor Picture Cookbook.” My mother’s favorite recipe was osso buco, and she would never have had tofu in her fridge, let alone hummus, for needed protein.
I think my father would have created a joke-upon-joke-upon-joke. My mother, who could be very sarcastic, probably would have said, “Gotta watch those vile, vicious Vikings, especially Danes and Norwegians.”
Both might have asked, “Where’s the beef?”
I would like to think that they both would laugh at Cathy Areu, the editor of Catalina Magazine (aka The Liberal Sherpa), suggesting last month we should eat tree bark to save the planet. She claimed it’s full of healthy carbs and sugar. She says pines are best, as they might have protein. She insisted she doesn’t want to eat her neighbors or their pets.
I know my father would agree with Ms. Areu that we should eat dandelions, as they are a “super food … full of calcium and iron,” she says. Dad had a recipe in his cookbook for a dandelion salad. Nothing new there. Being Swedish to her core, my mother would have added dill, as she added the lacy herb to any dish that could take it. Nothing new there.
I’m sure that both my parents would laugh hysterically at the loony left’s latest attempt to tell us what we should eat and not eat. Then they would make a special trip to the local McDonald’s and order two cheeseburgers. For them, Ms. Areu would be barking up the wrong tree.
To top it off, we have the loony left’s idea of a “nutritious food pyramid” from New York’s mayor from hell, Bill de Blasio. He has decided that school kids should not have the choice of chocolate milk with lunch.
I was nourished in Weston, Connecticut’s public schools with hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled cheese on white bread, spaghetti and meatballs, and fish sticks or a tuna sandwich on Fridays. All washed down with chocolate milk. And I’ve turned out pretty well, I think.